Paris in Gridlock After Doorway Jam-Up

Traffic in several major Paris fashion houses came to a standstill today as two rival fashionistas attempted to fit through a doorway while wearing the now-ubiquitous Balmain band jacket, resulting in a jam-up that lasted for several tense hours.

Police rushed to the scene with cans of Crisco and heavy towing equipment to attempt to free the two size zeros, whose massive shoulderpads had wedged them so firmly in place that they were ultimately cut free, resulting in over twenty thousand dollars of jacket damage.

Said one bystander, clearly shaken, "It was like watching cattle in a loading chute... only cattle with lots of bling and stilettos, and with, you know, more French swear words."

Fortunately, no one was seriously injured, although the explosive decompression of the freed shoulderpads was enough to rattle windows for several blocks around. Both women are currently in the hospital under precautionary observation, and are expected to undergo retail therapy after their release.